7 ways to build a no-ghosting culture and bring back respect

Presented a pitch, only for the potential client to go silent? Is a senior leader refusing to respond? Try these practical strategies for when people go quiet on you.

By Dannie-Lu Carr

Ghosting is wasting time, draining credibility and damaging relationships. It has become the default avoidance tactic in professional life. Pitches vanish. Clients go quiet. Stakeholders don’t decide. Colleagues sidestep responsibility. And yes, people in comms do it too, normally when they’re overwhelmed, embarrassed or hoping the issue will disappear if it is ignored long enough.

The root of the problem isn’t that ghosting happens, as downright infuriating as it can be. It’s that we behave as if we’re powerless in the face of it. We nudge, we follow up, we wait and yet the silence still wins, costing us time, energy and often entire opportunities.

Ghosting is a behaviour. Behaviours can be managed but we need options of what can be done and often we don’t feel like we have them.

Here are seven ways to build a no-ghosting culture and seven practical strategies for when people keep going silent despite your best efforts.

1. Set expectations before anyone can ghost

Ghosting thrives in vagueness. Remove it. Before any project or pitch, agree the communication pattern. For example, “I’ll update you by Wednesday. If I don’t hear from you by Friday, I’ll assume X and do Y.” This gives clarity and can prevent a lot of unintentional ghosting.

2. Make your first follow-up easy to answer

Most ghosting comes from overwhelm or a communication skills deficit (and therefore potential shame). Your first nudge should make it painless for that person to reappear. A note like “Just a quick check this didn’t slip. Yes/no is fine” can be helpful to the other person in their own navigation. Lower the emotional cost, raise the response rate.

3. When email fails, change the channel

If you’ve emailed twice with no response, stop. Switch your mode: a short call, a voice note, a message via an assistant or a LinkedIn nudge. People hide in different places. Changing the channel breaks the avoidance loop. Be careful of hounding them though. Strike the balance.

4. Escalate calmly and without edge

After two nudges, manage your own emotions (frustration, resentment, etc) and ensure you stay neutral and direct. For example, “To progress this, I need a decision by X. If that’s not possible, who can decide instead? Let me know and I can pick up with them directly.”

5. Shrink the decision

Many people ghost because the decision feels big, political or risky. Make it smaller for them by asking questions like, “Do we park this until next quarter or proceed with the current scope?” Less cognitive load usually means less avoidance behaviour.

6. Protect your boundaries when silence continues

After reasonable effort, stop chasing. Move to consequences which are clear, calm and stated in advance. Statements like, “If I don’t hear by Friday, I’ll assume the project is paused” or “If we don’t receive a response, we’ll withdraw the proposal.” This is about respecting everyone’s time and energy.

7. Handle senior stakeholder ghosting without derailing yourself

When the ghoster is senior, the rules change. You can’t escalate above them, and their silence can freeze a programme. So you need to use different tactics.

Reframe instead of chase with language like “With two routes open, I’ll move ahead with Option A on Thursday unless you prefer B?”
Use time as polite leverage. For example, “To maintain delivery standards, I’ll need sign-off today. Otherwise we will have to push to the next window.”
Escalate sideways, not upwards. Questions like “I need clarity so the team can plan. Shall I check in with X to make sure we’re aligned?” can be useful here.
Make the decision tiny. “A, B or C? Let me know within the hour.”
Shift from chasing to informing. For example, “Just to keep you in the loop, without approval today, this will automatically move to next sprint.”

With ghosting, we need to fix the culture not just the symptoms. Chronic ghosting is a systemic issue. Log delays. Share the impact. Introduce response standards. When silence stops being treated as acceptable, behaviour changes fast. When we don’t know what to do in the face of ghosting, that is interpreted as acceptance.

We know that ghosting isn’t efficient or harmless. It’s avoidant, draining and corrosive. A no-ghosting culture is one where adults communicate like adults. They have the honest conversations with clarity and consistency. The respect each other’s time and professionalism. When silence stops being an option on the table, we are forced to value each other and the skills that we bring much, much more.

A colour portrait of Dannie-Lu Carr stood in front of a brick wall with her arms crossed. She is a white woman with dark hair and wears a green camouflage jacket

Dannie-Lu Carr is an ILM Level 7 executive coach, senior training consultant and executive speaker coach specialising in personal impact, high-stakes communication and creativity under pressure. With 18+ years in leadership development and behavioural change, she helps senior and board-level leaders sharpen their presence, influence and message when it matters most. Dannie-Lu previously wrote the Influence blog, Brain chemistry v AI: The skills worth fighting for.